A Late Start - Spirituality Month



Dont, don't you want me?
You know I don't believe you when
you say that you don't need me.

I've been a little frustrated with my productivity lately. February ended up being a very high-maintenance month. Cooking every meal was time consuming. I listened to my book every chance I got. It's over now, and it was great! Comes very highly recommended. Along with all that, I've had a decent amount of schoolwork to keep me busy in addition to a fun little bug I seem to have contracted. Which means I get a lot less done that I would like each night! Still on the agenda for "money month" is finishing my tablecloth and setting up my etsy store. I can't wait, but I want to do it right! I'd like to have more than only a couple of items to start out with. On the money month note, I'm also planning on getting my car on the market soon. And all the while, trying not to get too frustrated with the fact that I have to spend 40+ hours of valuable Year o' No Regrets time at the office every week.
Onto Spirituality Month. I have a pretty open mind when it comes to spirituality, but I think that I've shut it out altogether for the most part in the past few years because of some negative feelings toward the churches I've attended. I'm not looking to get into a religious debate here, simply to flesh out my thoughts and feelings and desires when it comes to the spiritual side of my life and developing it further.

Do Good, Feel Good

I can't justify the fact that I haven't done a whole lot of volunteering in my life. I used to help with stuff at church, like Vacation Bible School every year, and I have done a little tutoring, but I can't defend the fact that my weekends 99% of the time are purely pleasure seeking. This past weekend was different.

My boyfriend and I signed up for Habitat for Humanity. Here's what I was thinking going into it:

1. There are going to be a ton of people! (I thought it would be very impersonal.)

2. I hope they like me.

3. I hope I don't make a fool out of myself.

4. I'm scared.

After our first go-round, there are some things that really struck me.

The Hamster Wheel

Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work, driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for, in order to get to a job that you need so you can pay for the clothes, car and the house that you leave empty all day in order to afford to live in it. – Ellen Goodman

When did this become the American dream? I want to break free from this vicious cycle.

I was talking to a gentleman whom I respect and admire recently and got to talking about my dreams and also the dreams of certain others. My dreams don't really have anything to do with making any money - in fact, I probably dream more of needing less money than I do of actually making more of it. He reminded me that we all have to consider our retirement, and need to make more than a measly paycheck that will barely pay the bills from week to week. That's certainly true. I thought about it for a couple of days, then came back to him and said, "You know, I thought about what you said. But to retire, you don't have to make a lot. You just have to save a lot."

February: Money Month

For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. - 1 Timothy 6:10

Money often costs too much. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Time is more value than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time. - Jim Rohn

Money is like most anything else in this world - it can be used for good, or it can be used for evil. I've heard people try to say that the Bible says money is the root of all evil - but that's not correct. It says that the love of money is the root of all evil. I think that another way to say that is that the love of power is the root of all evil. Why would someone love money? Money is nothing but a tool. The only value of money is what it can do. It's a means, not an end.

I'm not perfect when it comes to money. I'm even less perfect when it comes to discipline, which is why I dedicated January to it, and discipline affects money to a substantial degree. But money is definitely a toughie. How much is enough? Is there ever too much? How much should you spend on yourself, and how much should you spend on others? Is it ethical to live comfortably when others don't, through no fault of their own? The more you make, the more you could donate, right? So then should you attempt to make as much as possible? This is such a personal issue and I know that everyone will come to their own different conclusion, but I think it's an important issue to examine your own feelings and motivations toward.

Happiness Examined

Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.

- Eleanor Roosevelt

Joy can be real only if people look upon their life as a service, and have a definite object in life outside themselves and their personal happiness.

- Leo Tolstoy

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.

- Buddha

Sounds pretty selfish to dedicate a year to happiness, doesn't it? All the talking I've been doing about feeling fulfilled, following my passions, and living with no regrets has got me to thinking that I need to provide a little bit of explanation and background. Anyone who reads Gretchen Rubin's book The Happiness Project would understand, but I know that most of you won't get around to it, and that's okay. My happiness project is not just about me. It's about me feeling good about being me - about feeling right about the person I am in the big picture, my contribution to society as a whole, and the impression my life makes on the people around me every day. I can't live a life of selfishness and only living for myself and today. I won't be happy. And if I am not happy, I am less able to be the person I want to be for the people around me. I like Buddha's quote about about the candle. Love given away is increased, not decreased.

Excitement of the Possible

I have always loved airports. I don't necessarily like sitting and waiting. I don't like carrying bags, or being around a million strangers with their billion germs, or the nasty fast food. But there is one thing I love about airports that, even now, makes my heart skip a beat. The possibility. When I'm in the airport I see the planes coming and going; the people with different faces and languages; and the board. Oh, the board! With all the possibilities. Australia. Italy. Africa. My heart yearns to go and do it all. My eyes want to see it all.

Don't Sew When You're Stupid

Last night, I was almost done with one placemat (or at least, I thought I was) and I was determined to finish before bed. I've been staying up way too late working on this stuff, but now that I think about it, I have less than a week until school starts! Even though I can still work on it afterward, it seems ridiculous to me that I started this project "so long ago" (okay, two weeks) and still am not done. I have four placemats total to do and was getting close to being done with one. I decided to do it pillow-style, stitch it almost all the way around inside out then turn it right side out and finish up.

Long story short, I did not leave enough room. I tried and tried and tried and worked patiently to get it to come through, and even gave up on that and started trying to push it backward. When it became clear I was at an impasse, I ended up not only having to cut the thread that was holding the side together, but also busting off one of my beads... whose thread was also holding many other beads on. Basically I added about 30 minutes of (admittedly ingenious) fixes, and thank goodness it was salvaged and finished (see left).