I Feel Old

This year more than all other years combined I have felt like I am getting old. Here is my list of why. Yep, that's my intro.

1. I do just about the same thing every morning. If it's a workout morning, I work out. I make myself breakfast, which is nearly always the same: eggs and toast. I take a shower and say goodbye to my dog. I am becoming very predictable and routined.

2. I prefer to wake up early. If you had told me a couple of years ago that I would be waking up before I absolutely had to, I would have laughed. Now I like to "take my time waking up," and "ease into my routine", and "do a little housework". Madness.

3. Waking up early means I go to bed early. Way too early sometimes. But I woke up early and worked out and now, I don't care if it's only 9:30, I am tired!

4. I check the weather to see what I should wear. Before, I wore what I wanted. Let the weather dictate what I put on in the morning?! Pshh. If that meant flip-flops in January, that was cool. Why not?

5. I'll tell you why not. Circulation. My feet no longer have the blood flow to support this winter flip-flop insanity. In fact, I can't even go to sleep without socks. I wear little slippers around the house instead of my old barefoot ways. I had heard about this circulation thing before from an aunt, but I thought she was silly. Or just really old.



6. One (compound) word. Heartburn.

7. Swollen fingers. I can't eat a lot of sodium without having swollen fingers. I realized this after a ham fest a few weeks ago. I had never heard of such a thing, but the next day I woke up with fingers so swollen my rings had left marks. I disagree with this phenomenon, but that hasn't stopped it from happening to me.

8. I have never before cared about keeping a plant alive, but recently it's been a goal of mine. Since I had already failed several times, I have recently attained this goal by buying an "exotic air plant". Even the information sheet says "They thrive on neglect!" Good news: It's true.

9. Recently, when discussing a party with our friends, I found myself saying "the moms" and "the dads". It's accurate, but that doesn't make me feel any less strange. These labels are for the parents. We are not the parents! We are the kids. Except, we're not. Delaying having children doesn't make me any less old.

10. As a kid, I was incredibly embarrassed to walk around the "cool" stores with my mom because all I would hear were frantic, extremely audible whispers of "This place is ri-DIC-ulous!" or "For a tshirt?!". Now, I am that person. I find myself saying things like this anytime I shop for something I have not shopped for in a while. For instance, bags of candy. Or office supplies. Did you know there are staplers that cost upwards of $100 American dollars?

11. Staying home sounds better than going out 97% of the time. Look, I've got things to do. Chores. Projects. Being productive. I'd rather snuggle up to my husband on the couch. Going out requires A. getting dressed, B. driving, C. spending money, D. staying up late, and, 9 times out of 10, E. dealing with smoke. No, thank you. It needs to be a special occasion.

12. This one, to me, is the worst. Last year, I attended an ugly sweater party. This year, I wore this same attire to a Christmas party. Somewhat ironically; but a lot more not ironically. It's become less "OMG! what a hideous sweater!" and more "Hey, this thing is sorta fun and festive, why not?". Criteria for an outfit is that it fits me, it's comfortable, and I like it. Criteria for an outfit used to be that it was flattering and "in". Okay, *I* still think my clothes are cool... It just doesn't matter to me so much whether anyone else does anymore.