Long story short, I did not leave enough room. I tried and tried and tried and worked patiently to get it to come through, and even gave up on that and started trying to push it backward. When it became clear I was at an impasse, I ended up not only having to cut the thread that was holding the side together, but also busting off one of my beads... whose thread was also holding many other beads on. Basically I added about 30 minutes of (admittedly ingenious) fixes, and thank goodness it was salvaged and finished (see left).
This little episode got me to thinking philisophically - I mentioned earlier that Gretchen Rubin searched out and recorded "spendid truths" that she discovered. Tonight, when I started trying to clean up my mess, I thought, why did I sew when I was getting stupid. Stupidly tired, stupidly frustrated, stupidly drunk, you know, whatever! (I wasn't drunk.) I know haven't discovered anything monumental, or even anything I didn't know already. But I am so stubborn and bull-headed sometimes. In fact, most of the time. In lots of ways that works in my favor.. I generally get whatever it is I decide to go after. But in the past year I have learned more and more to let things go. I don't always need to run things or force them - not only for others' sake but for my own as well. If I step back and let the cards fall as they may, the world won't end and it might even work out better for everyone.
This has been a hard lesson for me to learn, and I'm sure I'll go on learning it for the rest of my life. Until I get too old and tired to meddle, anyway. I always want to help and fix, but that's not always the answer, and doing the right things the wrong way or at the wrong time or when they're not your responsibility makes them wrong things. Trying to get something done when you're tired or frustrated isn't really going to accomplish much. But there comes a point when it's time to let go of the reins and put down the needle!
Maybe I will dub my spendid truths "Painfully Obvious Truths".
I am performing TERRIBLY with my #3 resolution: "Arrive to work and appointments 5 minutes early." I've actually been on time the past two days, even a little early, but not five minutes! Before I started this, I thought that this is part of my personality I may never completely conquer. I always think I can do a little more, or fit in one more thing. I purposely made this resolution to be early so that when it's over maybe I can be on time.
Other resolutions are working great. Since the holidays I've barely made any food, but I've been doing great keeping my sink clean! I don't know if I've turned on my oven, except once for a frozen pizza. When I get done with my cereal bowls, I'm tempted to throw them in the sink but I don't. I dutifully rinse them out and place them neatly into the dishwasher.
I'm also doing great putting my makeup on at home. It doesn't take that long at all. I think that's why these are working so well - it was an irrational mental block that I didn't have time to do these two things properly, when I really do and the tasks last literally between seconds and minutes.
Honestly, it's embarrassing that I am even having trouble with this kind of stuff at 26! The real tragedy, however, would be never fixing it. Unfortunately, this month, being about discipline, is a quite boring to think about, somewhat boring to write about, and even more boring to read, I'm sure. Thankfully, they will start being more fun soon! After no-spend month, anyhow. Buenas nachos everyone.
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