welcome. thanks for visiting. i love sharing my stories, so regardless of who you are, feel free to look around. this blog is about my adventures and living on purpose. i hope it provides you with some entertainment... even if it's at my expense!


Sunday, January 16, 2011

Excitement of the Possible

I have always loved airports. I don't necessarily like sitting and waiting. I don't like carrying bags, or being around a million strangers with their billion germs, or the nasty fast food. But there is one thing I love about airports that, even now, makes my heart skip a beat. The possibility. When I'm in the airport I see the planes coming and going; the people with different faces and languages; and the board. Oh, the board! With all the possibilities. Australia. Italy. Africa. My heart yearns to go and do it all. My eyes want to see it all.

For several years, I've read a blog by a girl who travels consistently, writing for a living wherever she likes (http://www.bunnyshop.org/). I always envied her lifestyle, but only in a small way, in a beat-down part of my psyche where I didn't allow myself dream of possibilities. But recently, I've begun to explore my own mind and heart. What do I really want out of this life? After I got divorced, I wanted to "make it". Make my own money, buy my own house, get my dream car, and be successful in a job I liked. Insurance, 401K, pay all my own bills, privacy fenced backyard. Ok, I got all that. I have every single material possession I have ever really wanted, and if anything else comes up, I could probably either afford to buy it, or make it. I'm materially satiated, in other words.

What next? I had already been pondering this question to a certain extent when the boy left. This threw me out into the happiness deep end. There was nothing to distract my attention, no one at home to hang out with. I had to figure this out. I've read, and I've thought. I know I want to see the world. I plan to stay in Texas, finish my degree, then sell my house once the housing market comes back, along with most everything else I own. Then... leave. I don't know where I'm going to go. There are lots of places I want to see, but I think that I'd like to live somewhere in Europe for a bit. I could get a Europass and travel on the weekends.

With the pared-down lifestyle I plan to lead, I could rent a simple room. Absent my enormous car payment/maintenance/fuel bill every month, I think I could live on quite little. So much so, that, it is another one of my dreams to, at least for a time, be an artist and live on that income. What kind of art I don't know, or maybe I could write instead. But to be creative and work with my hands to make a living? To answer the question "what do you do" with "I'm an artist."? I would just die! I am a dreamer, and I'm not the type to be heartbroken and dejected if one plan doesn't work out. I'm also very patient, and I'm aware that my dreams could change in the next 2-3 years while this plan all comes together. But I'm striving for it, and living the best life I can in the meantime.

I have a calendar of beautiful Italy on my wall at work. It's very inspiring!

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